Stop Comparing Yourself to Others TC

Man, this one dude is making big money with his Shopify store.

Sure wish I could look as good as those women doing try-on hauls on YouTube, they must be rich and happy.

OK, admit it, you’ve done it at one time or another. Done what? Compared yourself to some other person that appears to be doing better than you.

There are two types of comparisons here: upward and downward. Upward comparison is when you compare yourself to someone more successful than you, downward then is comparing yourself to someone not as well off as you.

Upward comparison is the WORST thing you can do. It is damaging to your ego. Why? By doing this, you become unhappy with yourself just because you can’t achieve something another person has. You feel inferior, worthless, or inadequate. And if you take it too far, you can even ZERO out what qualities you already possess.

Don’t forget, you have certain qualities the person you admire doesn’t.

 

Why Do We Do It?

Our brains are naturally wired to compare ourselves to others. Neurologists call this a social comparison mechanism. It is a built-in radar that is continuously scans your environment and analyzes how well versed others are (or seem to be).

Whenever you’re around people who are not doing as well in life as you are, you’re likely to feel good about yourself. If these people seem mentally impaired, incompetent, or live a run-down lifestyle, your brain releases a chemical called dopamine. Thus, you feel superior to them and are able to gain validation or maybe even admiration from them by helping them in ways they can’t help themselves.

However, when you are surrounded by people who have great skills, natural attractiveness, or technical abilities that you lack, you’ll likely feel inferior to them. Your brain then releases cortisol which is a stress hormone. Hence, you feel no good, inferior, or way behind and totally worthless.

As humans, we evaluate most everything we see. We tend to evaluate things we come into contact with every day. And when we see things we never seen before, we can’t help but to judge them as good or bad and compare them to like objects. 

Again, the only we we can evaluate ourselves is, by comparing ourselves to similar people we meet. Doing this acts like a measuring tool to determine our own self worth. 

But can we assign a number to ourselves that represents our total self-worth or degree of excellence?  No.  Though we can place a dollar value on a house or car, but not a human being.  

 

Is Social Media to Blame?

Social media can be great, but at the same time, very harmful. How good is it? That all depends on the individual and how they use it.

 

Allegedly, social media sites started out as online venues where people could contact one-another and exchange info and advice. Soon after, it became like a popularity contest with sites as YouTube, Tik Tok, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram having symbols as views, likes, tweets, emojis, and followers.

And granted, we as humans are social creatures. Most of us desire to have plenty of friends, a romantic partner, and acquaintances of whom we can impress. We seek attention and recognition that most others receive and to get it, we use social media.

Social media is a monkey-see, monkey-do atmosphere.

Maybe you’d agree, social media may have gone a bit too far. It has become an online marketplace for businesses to gain exposure. And for general consumers, it has become an income generating tool. 

Social media adds to the social conditioning we’ve been facing for decades: if you want to fit in, you must comply with our modern day lifestyle. Hence, we see how other people live and what kind of possessions they own. We feel we must follow suit to be competitive. So, we seek out others of our same gender and age group with similar interests, find out how well they’re doing, then try to match or beat their level of excellence.

People often feel f.o.m.o – fear of missing out. Nobody wants to be left behind.

Many of us desire to have a significant online presence. But to do that, we need an extraordinary quality or talent that makes us stand out. For women that often means being fit and attractive. For men, it signifies owning powerful ‘toys’ and having great knowledge and experience in pastimes men commonly enjoy: hunting, fishing, boating, etc. 

It is then, we become creative as we exhibit a special skill or quality that makes us stand out from the rest. We need some unique ability that turns people’s heads and wins us new friends.

 

How Social Media Harms People

Again, what started out as a basic chatting forum, turned into an online popularity contest, then a business marketplace, and finally, an entrepreneurial atmosphere. Now it implies that anyone, even those with little or no work or computer experience can make big money through an online program overnight.

Then its so-called victims log on to chat with friends of their same interests. Next they become inspired by individuals who are extremely popular.  Some sell popular products while others show off amazing projects they have made.  And these people make success look like "a walk in the park."

It is then social media fans find people to compare themselves to.

Others are influenced and try the same things only to find success impossible. They spend a fortune on equipment and items, go deep into debt, and devote a lot of time and effort into their business, only to find it has gone nowhere. And it’s then they feel there is something wrong with them, they’re inferior, inadequate, and failures. 

Women often fall victim to social media conditioning. They see gorgeous women who amass great popularity based on their looks. These mediocre looking gals then take aggressive actions as exercising and dieting to lose weight and improve their looks. Some go to extremes as getting plastic surgery or breast implants. After all their efforts and investments, they still aren’t happy with how they look.

Men and women who fail to achieve the level of success that their heroes have acquired then become angry, sad, and depressed. They feel crushed and totally worthless. Some even become suicidal.

And why? Because they compared themselves to others!

 

 

Comparing Yourself to Someone You Don’t Know

Comparing yourself to someone else is very preposterous and mentally damaging, especially to someone you don’t know. And worse yet, is to try to impress people you don’t even know.

 

As for someone you've never met face-to-face, you should never judge them as a superior.  However, if you come into contact regularly with them and perhaps, go to their house ever so often, you will likely find out how credible they really are.  And if you were to live with them, you'd truly get to know them.  It is then you will discover their highs and lows.  

Far too many social media fans, especially the young, assume just because Mr or Mrs So-And-So did such-and-such a thing to become popular and rich, that success was easy and natural for them. But little do these fans know what struggles and roadblocks their idols faced on their road to success.

Many of these wannabes are poor and lack the expertise required to do what they desire. Nor do they know the kind of support and resources (ie: money, training, help from experts) their heroes might have received. 

Warning: don’t try this at home!!!

Then again, there are a lot of FAKES out there. Many fans who are naive can’t always detect who they are. Not everything you see online is real and not all heroes are hard-working and sincere.

Pretty women who flaunt themselves online might do so because deep inside they’re insecure, depressed, angry spoiled little brats. Many feel they have no real job skills so they must rely on their main God given asset: their bodies. Likely, they get financial support from their wealthy parents and thus, are able to obtain any kind of service they need to enhance their looks.  And some can even travel around the world. I’m not saying they’re all like this, but many are.

Many so-called successful business men are really FAKES. They portray themselves as successful, but are doing so just to sell courses or recruit members for a company. A lot of them use props as mansions or fancy cars they lease or borrow as Lamborghinis or Ferraris. Their ads imply that they own these things and acquired them from doing what they advertise. And if they became rich, so can you.

Ha! ha! Ha!

For all we know, some of these claim-to-be millionaires might be lying. They post fancy ads to fool the public. But in reality, they are not wealthy at all. Many may be nothing but high-level drug dealers or criminals. And that’s the ONLY way they can afford pay people to post lucrative ads and create effective marketing campaigns.

Sure, not all businesses on social media are illegitimate, but separating the real ones from the FAKES can be hard.

“Trick photography” has played a big role in making ordinary objects or people look better than they really are. Thanks to programs like AI, Photoshop, Gimp, and the numerous movie making apps out there, this is possible. 

Some claim to have built amazing projects, like underground rooms, or hidden doors that revolve into shelves, etc. There are many eye-catching videos or talented people who do amazing tricks or cats or dogs that do remarkably funny things. 

Creators can take pictures of not-so-hot looking women and turn them into gorgeous babes. With these fancy art programs, one can make an outline of a chubby body and move its borders inward to make this woman look slimmer. Various photo touch up features like char and burn or smear or blur or color enhancements can make wrinkled aging skin look new and flawless. They can even steal pics of nicer looking outfits (as halter tops), cut them out and overlay them over the woman’s ugly blouse.

Now it’s a matter of separating the real things from the fake!

So why compare yourself to someone you never even met?   After all, you can never be sure they are genuine.  If you can only get to know them, you may be utterly surprised by what goes on “behind the scenes.” 

Research the Person or Group You Admire

Then again, there’s nothing wrong with having a role model. If you find someone you admire do these things:

• Read comments others have posted.

• Find out what others are saying about them.

• Ask them questions like or seek out advice.

• Do an online search and see what other platforms they post on.

• If they have a website, go and visit it.

• If they sponsor a company, research it and see how reputable it is.

If this person or party is sincere, you might even want to keep in touch with them. However, don’t be disappointed if they don’t respond back promptly, especially if they receive hundreds of comments daily. But if they do respond, who knows, they just may be willing to give you valuable tips and advice.

And, by all means, don’t idolize a person or group that:

• Only posts on a few platforms (three or less).

• Infrequently places posts.

• Has received numerous negative comments.

• Has no personal website.

• Has poor quality images.

• Hasn’t been online very long.

 

YOU MUST MARKET YOURSELF

Though this blog post isn’t about how to market yourself online, I wrote this section to help you understand what separates you from your idol.  Before you can even make a significant online presence, you must learn good marketing skills. You can have the greatest products or content in the world, but if you don’t market them, nobody will know or even find you.

Marketing is a profession within itself.  It is the toughest skill you'll ever need to learn.  But you must do it before to become noticed on the net. Not only must you place marketing campaigns on sites like Facebook, Tik Tok, Instagram, Google, etc frequently...you must know the exact keywords to use to lure people to your site. You must also learn how Google and other search engine algorithms work as well as good SEO practices.

Most likely spent hundreds or thousands on ads and it has taken months or years to achieve the status he/she has today. Maybe they have access to resources or experts who can help them for little or nothing. I wouldn’t know who or what they are. 

 

UNTIL YOU GET NOTICED, YOU ARE NOBODY!!!

 

But I can’t tell you how to market. I’m still learning that myself.  So your best bet is to hire someone online from sites like FIVERR.